Wake me up when September ends

I feel blessed and loved.

Thank you Lord for making my day.

Love, Mel.

P.S. Oliver Tse, I promise I will sleep before midnight today.

An Early Birthday Surprise

Actually, it was not really a surprise. :)

This morning while driving to work, I received a call from the florist telling me she had a flower delivery for me but she didn't know where was my office. So I told her the direction. Another thing is, my birthday is in two days time, 30th Sept. So, you can say it's an early birthday gift. But anyways, thanks O. Whoever you are. :P

This year, I am not planning to do anything big. Probably just dinner or drinks with friends and colleagues. Furthermore, this week, I'm swarmed with after work dance practices. Dancing for two functions this weekend; one for the company's anniversary dinner and the other for the Toastmasters Installation dinner. I'm pretty excited because I realized I love to dance. It's a fun way to kill time and lose that stubborn weight.

So yes, busy busy me.

Again thanks for the flowers O. Me loved it very much.

Dark Clouds

Past few days have been a mix of hectic schedules and emotionally challenging week for me. Work, dance practices and frequent visits to the hospital. At the end of each day, I would be physically and emotionally knackered.  It doesn't help that I barely had time to video skype Oli for the entire week. The feeling of detachment and isolation was upsetting. That's the downside of long distance relationship.

On a side note, I had a dream this morning that I gave birth to a baby girl and she was beautiful. She had Oli's eyes and fortunately, my nose. :) Funny thing was, contrary to a newborn baby who's always sleeping, mine was fully awake, always playful and she smiled a lot. The funnier thing was, it can talk! But she only uttered one word though, she said 'Weiiird....'. In my dream, I was thinking, 'This is weird. My baby can talk and she's barely a week old. She must be a genius like Oli!!' Anyways, I woke up after that and thought 'No, wonder my baby can talk. It was just a dream.' Anything is possible in a dream.

Well, it's a Saturday and the week is almost over. I hope next week, things will turn around for the better. I can't stand this 'dark cloud' hanging above my head. It's too depressing.

*Shoo-ing away dark clouds*

Thank God for Skype!

People always ask us "How did you guys do it?'

Yes, long distance relationship is not easy. It can be frustrating to not be physically present to each other in times of joy and sadness. We don't have the luxury of planning for movies or meals or a weekend get-together like other couples do. So, it does get pretty lonely at times.

But what we have is a shared dream and hope, commitment and Love that one day, we will be together. As in together-gether. Not apart. :) And that day is something to look forward to.

Till then, Skype is a blessing to us!

My monkey. :)

Marriage Preparation Course Session 3: Managing Conflicts

Ah yes, the 'C' word. Conflicts. Don't we all have it? Whether it is conflict with others; families, friends, partners or even conflicts with thy own self. It is inevitable. God didn't make us all different and unique and sans conflicts. Conflicts will always be there when you put two people in a relationship context. Any relationship for that matters.

When Oliver and I did this session, it made us realize the differences that we have between us and it doesn't have to be major, but minor things like our spending/saving habits, the way we plan/organize things, and of course the way we deal with conflicts. Oliver is a Rhino, a quiet one though, if there is anything that upsets him, he will talk about it while I am a hedgehog, I'll curl up in a ball and unleash the infamous 'silent treatment'.

But then again, it's not that bad between us, in fact over the years, we've improved on this, as in how to manage conflicts, when there is one. :) We've learnt to air it out, learn to compromise and the most difficult but important of all, learn to forgive. This session gave us a few additional pointers on how to deal with conflicts as a  partner;

1. To hit a pause button- I think this is when two people are arguing in a circumstances that only makes it worse. Like Oli knows that I get easily upset when I'm hungry or sleepy so he either has to make sure that he feeds me or that I get a good amount of sleep before any confrontation. And I know that Oli gets temperamental when he is driving. So, car is a no-argument zone.

2. To avoid phrases like 'you always' or 'you never'-Oliver and I both admitted that there might be instances when we were guilty of this. But yes, we are working on it. Rather than saying e.g. 'You never write to me anymore', say 'I missed those times when you used to write to me'. Just an example. :)

3. To listen more without passing judgement.-When two people are in conflict, they usually develop what I call the selective hearing of facts or they pass judgement without establishing any grounds yet. In cases like this, I think I'm more guilty, being the more impulsive better half and more emotional. So, while I learn to listen more and not judge straight away, Oli agreed to be more sensitive.

4. Talk, talk, talk- Communication is the most important aspect in a relationship. I can't imagine a relationship without communication, hence it was the 1st session in this course. Good thing is Oliver and I talk a lot. Of course, I talk more. But we talk. We talk to keep updates of each other, we talk about politics, about people, about us, about the future. We talk our way through arguments and talk again afterwards. Of course, at times, we keep certain matters to ourself, but given time and some bits of pushing, we talk about it. 

So yes, Conflicts. As much as we hate to have it, when we do come out of it, it does make us all the more wiser and stronger in person and as a couple.  As the saying goes, 'what doesn't kill you, makes you stronger.'

Anyways, a 2nd sneak peek from our pre-wedding shoot.




@ The Garden, Curve


"Love is patient, love is kind, it is not jealous, love does not brag and is not arrogant, does not act unbecomingly, it does not seek its own, it does not provoke, does not take into account a wrong suffered, does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth, bears all things, believe all things, hope all things, endure all things."
1 Corinthians 13

 

Read Marriage Preparation Course Session 2: Commitment here.

If you were falling, then I would catch you.

I am having the very rare cases of Saturday blues. Been moody since I got up this morning.  That is always the case if 1. When someone woke me up on a Saturday morning when I was supposed to be sleeping in. 2. A lot of things happening at once around me when all I need is a quiet start to what was suppose to be a resting day. All I want to do is just sleep in and wake up when I feel like it, then have my cup of coffee and lotus biscuits for breakfast and read my book in peace. That's it. But no, I don't get that. And lately, I haven't been getting the things that I want. Speaking of which, there won't be a dream wedding for me either. That should make me a bitter bride to be. But I am trying to be okay about the whole thing. But the effort of trying also comes with a timeline. A time to accept. A time to heal. A time to move on. There are times when I think 'It's okay. It's not about the wedding. It's about the marriage and the most important thing is to get marry'.  But there are times when I think 'We're only going to do this once and shouldn't we be doing it as how we dream or wish it would be'. Such is unfairness of dreams versus the terms & conditions of what are deemed the right way of getting marry.

Anyways, to beat the blues, I'll just post pictures of good times because I've been feeling less happy these days.

Group picture before going to Mamutik Island

I like this picture

Sunset during one of our drive. It was pretty.

Waiting for the rest to arrive for dinner at Korean Restaurant.

I miss you. :(

The Presents

Have you ever look a picture of yourself and wonder where and when was it taken as you couldn't recall being taken picture of. It is those instances that slip by under your nose without you realizing. I wonder what was going on in my mind at that time, how did I feel at that time, what happened that was worth remembering. Humans are selective of their memories. They choose to remember things they want to remember and things they don't wish to remember but somehow were embedded in their memories nevertheless. But sometimes, those little things that usually go unnoticed, the inobvious, would conjured up in the mind. The memory. In a vague manner that you knew it happened but somehow couldn't quite put a date or time reference to it. It's the things that just happened some time ago. For now, I guess I'll just be happy to know that whatever had happened, it had brought us here. The presents.



What was Oliver thinking when he took this picture? Maybe he was attempting an artistic shot.



One of those days. I wasn't particularly happy with Oliver when this shot was taken. But somehow, when I look at it now, I am glad that we took it.



Of tulles and polka dots

Months down the road, I envision that I'll be walking down the neat, green grass aisle adorned with petals of white roses, whites chairs arranged nicely, left and right where all my loved ones, families and friends are standing, all eyes will be focus on me because...

I'm considering a one-shoulder gown. It's chic although I can almost imagine the comment from the conservative would be 'Wah, ran out of fabric issit?'

I am also in love with the idea of polka dots wedding dresses. So pretty and whimsical!

Tulles. So ballerina-ish and Fairy Tale-ish. Big Love!

And of course, the dress worn by Beth (played by Kristen Bell) in the movie 'When In Rome'

By the way, don't you just love the newly crowned Miss Universe 2010, Miss Mexico's red fiery evening dress. It's exquisite!

Okay, am off to dream about white dress, fresh flowers of yellow and purple, believe me it's a beautiful colour combination and the perfect song for our first dance as hubby and wifey.

Ta.