Earlier, we had a discussion on commitment. It is part of the Marriage Preparation Course that Oli and I had to take prior to making that big leap of faith called 'Marriage'.
Why do we do this course? Well, being Christian, it is recommended. Getting marry is a big thing. It's a union between two people. It's a new phase to embark on. And as common as it is, it is also totally an unfamiliar phase, especially for newly wed. As mentioned in the video, people take diving courses in order to dive or driving lessons in order to drive, then why not take courses to prepare us for marriage. Nowadays, it is so common for marriage to breakdown and end in a bitter divorce and this is attributed by many things such as infidelities, irreconcilable differences etc. So it is important for Oli and I to take this course to prepare us and also help us develop a strong foundation for a lasting marriage.
We did Session 1, which was on Communication. In brief, it's about communicating effectively considering factors that might affect the way we communicate i.e.our personalities, our family background and our circumstances and also taking into account possible barriers to effective communication.
For Session 2 on Commitment, we discussed about why Marriage. Whether it is for friendship or to build a family life, marriage is a covenant and not a contract, As opposed to contract which bonds two parties with signatories to agree on terms and conditions, covenant marriage is bond on a promise to each other, a promise to God to love and be committed to each other for as long as both shall live. It is for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health. It is unconditional. We also discussed about how important it is to plan time together on a daily,weekly and annual basis and also to set some time apart doing or pursuing our own interest.
It's funny how even before Oliver and I got together 7 years ago, as friends, we actually discussed about love and commitment and we both agreed that love is not all that. In reality, yes, two people fall in love and get into relationship. But overtime, the love they once had may not be the same. Couples do fall out of love. They get irritated with one another. They'll hate each other's gut. They may even start to wonder, 'Why did I marry him./her in the first place?" This thing happens. That's when commitment comes into the picture. Recall 'For better, for worse.' What ties a married couple long after the initial 'love' is gone is commitment. When two people are committed in their marriage, they'll make effort to do whatever it takes. Even to rekindle their love and it is possible.
It's all about commitment and the rest will follow.
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