Wednesday, March 18, 2015

one fine day (family photoshoot)

This is long overdue but we did a family photoshoot sometime back in November 2014 right at the end of Autumn with Jess Renee Photography. It was our first professional family photoshoot. We wanted to do it for memory keepsake and because Oli is always behind the camera and hence, missing from most pictures. So we finally did it on a pretty Saturday afternoon after many weeks of postponing it due to bad weather. Prior to the photoshoot, we were briefed on what to expect and Jess, who is by the way, an awesome photographer and person, gave us a thumbs up on our choice of outfit. We had our photoshoot taken on a slope hill just outside Steinbach village. It was a simple setting, nothing too pretentious and just what we had hoped for. The session itself took over an hour but it didn't feel like it. Throughout the session, we were told to just be natural and I was surprised that Zachary did really well through it all. Suffice to say, he was the star during the whole photoshoot.  Anyways, here are some of our favourite picks from the photoshoot.


Jess also made a wonderful video montage of the photoshoot that was so precious to us. Something we definitely want to watch back over and over again. Here is the link to the video.:)


Precious

Hello. Yes, this little space is still alive. Although, it has been in hibernation mode for quite a long time. Things around here are good. Oli is currently on a study break in UK. He has been there for over a week but  he will be back in a few days. Yay! Can't wait. I miss him. Well, we miss him. Zachary and I have been keeping ourselves occupied with playdates and just a lot of time spent at the park and town. Speaking of Zachary, he is 18 months now. Another half a year to turning two. There is so much I want to say about all the amazing things that he does and can do but at the same time, i don't want to sound boastful. I am just so grateful that he is healthy and thriving. Anyways, i wanted to write because I want to remember one precious moment. You see, today has not been all peachy. A lot of whining on Zachary's part and a lot of shouting on my part. Maybe it was because we missed daddy and we took it out on each other. Maybe. And so I felt guilty just for being upset a lot. But earlier, when I put him to bed, I nursed him for a little while and then I told him, 'Okay, that's enough. You have to sleep on your own now.' He whined a little and then he just laid on the bed and we were laying side by side, facing each other in the eye. I wished I knew what he was thinking then. We played  a game where we pointed out eyes, mouth, ear and nose. We whispered our prayers and good night. He held my hand. By then, his eyes were already slowly closing and within a few seconds he was off to dreamland. And just like that, I was overcame with so much love and gratitude for this little human being. How lucky I am to be his mother. Truly, as exhausting motherhood can be, it is also the best thing that has ever happened to me.


Pictures from Jess Renee Photography.


Tuesday, August 5, 2014

stronger and sweeter

Yesterday, it dawned on me that my little baby, well, not so little anymore, is turning one in a month time. As I looked at him, sleeping soundly in his stroller i realized how much he has grown since I birthed him. Struck by this realization of the inevitability, I couldn't help but cry while sitting across Oliver in a busy cafe. 

I know I have written some struggles I faced being a new mom, dealing with Zachary's eczema and just day to day challenges. But in all earnestly, I love being a mum. To me, motherhood is a great gift. I have grown so much being a momma to Zachary. Everyday, I learn a little bit more about Zachary, a little bit more about myself as well as our relationship in retrospect. 

I recall one particular night during the earliest days when we had Zachary, Oli and I were up pretty late that night. I must have just put Zachary to sleep. We were sharing a bowl of instant noodle, just catching up on things but, mostly to talk about Zachary. Back then, parenthood was still surreal to us. I remember Oli mentioned something along the line of "I don't know why some people have problems in their marriage after having kids. I mean, there are so much interesting things to talk about." I agreed without thinking further. Fast forward, I could see how having a child or children could put a strain to any relationship. It is a combination of stress, divided attention, unmet expectations and sometimes selfishness that could often result in disappointments and arguments. Oli and I have a fair share of that. 

You see, I am the type of person who bottles up everything inside. I don't necessarily say what I feel when I am frustrated or upset over something. However, my action speaks louder. Loud enough that Oli could feel that something was wrong. The problem is more often he does not know what he did or rather did not do. So there i was, angry; I mopped, I scowled, I clinked-clanked the dishes louder than usual, I huffed and I puffed. You get the picture. He, on the other hand, once realised my changed demeanour, left puzzled trying to figure out what he did wrong. It got to a point where our relationship became bitter because I was upset and he was upset because I was upset. It was unhealthy to our marriage. I think the turning point was when we started to actually communicate. I told him "I feel like I had to do everything in this house." to which he told me " I feel like you don't appreciate the things I do." and so, we just started talking from there on, our frustrations and unmet expectations. 

In a way, things have improved. Of course, there will still be days we will be upset with the other but we learn from the past, we focus of the things that matters, we forgive and we move forward. 

'Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you had a grievance against someone. Forgive as The Lord forgave you'. Colossians 3:13 

Times as such, reminds us how much we need God's grace in our marriage and our life in general. When it is so easy and possible to just say Enough and walk out of the door, God's grace pulls us together to forgive and to love. To remind us the covenant we made in our marriage before Him. 

'And the God of all grace, who called you to his eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast'. 1 Peter 5:10 

So while we celebrate the tears and joy seeing our little baby grow up before our very own eyes into the sweet boy he is becoming, we also celebrate the bad times and good times that made our marriage stronger and our love sweeter.

Photo from Jess Renee Photography