Baby Tse just reached a huge milestone today as he is now officially full term which means, if he is to come out now, chances are he will be doing just fine, breathing on his own and without much complications, with God's grace of course. This really means a lot to us and certainly lifted up a huge amount of initial worries that we had. I mentioned before that I had placenta previa and i am in stage 4 category (the most serious case) which means my placenta is completely covering my cervix and thus, covering the birth exit way for the baby. This also means that natural delivery is not an option and I had to do a scheduled c-section. Am I bummed about it? Truthfully, not really. At the end of the day, all I want is for the baby to be fine and healthy and so far, the reports from our doctor had been encouraging and the baby is doing really well. I read stories or testimonies from previous pregnant mums who had placenta previa and one of the common signs or i would say challenges is they had bleedings that ranges from light to heavy. Depending on how long they are in their pregnancy and how heavy the bleeding is, some are advised bed rest, basically you're not allowed to carry heavy loads, move around too much and just stay as calm as possible. But if the bleeding doesn't stop and you start filling up two menstrual pads within hours then the doctors have to deliver the baby to avoid serious hemorrhaging which could be life threatening for both mother and baby. So a lot of women in such cases had to deliver their baby prematurely and that adds to existing challenges, caring for a preemie baby. Of course, with modern technology in medicine today, preemie babies have good chances of not only surviving the initial complications that come with being born prematurely, but they grow up to be healthy and normal as other full term babies. So yeah, this was all the worries I had as I progressed in my pregnancy. So, we prayed about it and you know what, God is good and we have got this far and now, instead of the initial worries we had, we are excitedly and nervously counting down to the day we will see our baby which is in less than a week time. Yikes.
I have all these mix emotions in me which is pretty hard to explain. I guess only soon to be mothers and mothers know this feeling. Despite spending countless hours reading, researching and just soaking all the information about pregnancy and then motherhood, I still feel anxious. Like I really don't know what to expect. How if I suck being a mother? How if I can't soothe my baby's crying? How if all these put a stress in our marriage? Postpartum depressions, body issues, breastfeeding and the list goes on. I know, I know. I'll be fine. We'll be fine. It's a learning process. But yeah, the stuff that I think about and had been affecting my sleep lately. Sign.
All things aside, I still can't believe that in less than a week, we'll see our baby. Looking back the past 9 months, how this little miracle made itself known bits by bits, every single day, from the first wave of morning sickness and increased trips to the toilet, first ultrasound, first heartbeat to first kick and movement. I tell you, I still find it pretty amazing and surreal to feel the baby move inside. Gahh...I am going to miss this when the baby is out. Maybe we should make a second one soon after? Okay, I was kidding. Really. Not so soon. But yes, one thing for sure is having a baby changes not only me but Oli and just us as a couple. It reveals a whole new side that we did not see before, in a good way. Like, I've always look at Oli as my best friend, husband and occasionally nemesis, haha, and now, he'll be the father of our baby and to see him growing and becoming a father is such a sweet experience. He is already a good and strong spiritual leader in our family, I know kids love him, most anyways, he is really patient, even more than me and just the way he loves and cares for people, I just know that he'll be a good dad. I'm not expecting him to be perfect. I don't expect myself to be perfect. But we'll do our best to be the best parents we can be for our kid.
So yeah. I guess, the next time I post, we will be parents already and it will be a beginning of a new story for us as family of three.
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